Time to Blog.

i'm sitting in Bricks and Scones, nearing the end of my metered parking... wait, nope, just paid the meter, i'm good to write for a bit. anyway, so i'm here reading blogs like my mom's blog, Dragon's Lair Farm, and Mary Kay Wiles' blog, Wearing Black in Paradise.... and i realize i miss blogging. i had an elaborate and intimate livejournal blog, which is all under lock and key b/c i used it more for journaling, but i loved doing it. it's healthy to write, to write often, and to be a little accountable for your life in a 'what do i have that i'd like to write about?' way.

so here i introduce my blog: dragonflies in LaLaLand. why this title? because i've always resonated with dragonflies, they're beautiful and weird and mythic little bugs, they represent change (an ever present constant in my life), and my parents both use dragons either as a farm title or on guitars... so it's only fitting that i'm the dragonfly. and i live in los angeles, i.e. LaLaLand. this place is nuts. but i like it. i'm a city slicker yet i love the ocean, and i am an actress. so LA it is for me for now, until called elsewhere.

i graduated from USC last June (after a community college summer session), so the past nearly nine months have been wonderful, fantastic and blessed, and yet at many times bone-wearingly challenging. i've learned A Lot. still learning, really, but today i can look back and realize that i've learned alot. i've overcome alot of anxiety and mild depression too, with help from family, friends, and therapists, and staying spiritually well. i'm clearer now, and i hope to stay more positive and healthier and clear. running helps, a healthy regularity to my day helps, and being productive helps. also, i'm so happy for spring & summer to be near, life's always a little easier with sunshine and a beach trip just around the corner.

today was my first day in a long time that i have had entirely to myself, and i needed it for personal reasons (as my dad says, to lick my wounds), so i went to the beach. it was freeeeeezing, but i stuck it out and absorbed everything healing and beautiful about ocean air and sunlight and sand. i can't let myself get sucked into the temptation to do this every free day i have (oh how sweet that would be!!), so i won't, i'll appreciate the chances i get. today has been awesome so far.

what does an average day look like? well, recently i've been waking up, playing a little guitar, going for a jog, then heading over to Chad McCord's Actor Studio, where i am assisting with emails and office tasks as a workstudy situation in order to take classes. i figure if i can't audition this season (for paid work i mean, i'm unrepresented and non union and not a triple threat), i can be in class and get connected with people who Are auditioning and Are in it, so i know what to do when that ball finally starts to roll faster. which i hope and pray it will soon. but trying to push a boulder uphill without the financial backing is impossible. which takes me to my next part of my day, Noe. Noe is the in-house restaurant at the Omni Hotel in downtown, where i was hired back in november b/c my first after college job at Karl Strauss was not helping me keep up with the bill monster. I waitress and cocktail waitress, i work nights, nearly every night actually, with a few nights off here and there which normally i can swiftly fill with a class or a workshop. tonight, for once, i can't. and that's OK. i'm learning to relax and let my schedule be open for unexpected things, like a text from my friend Tayler who's organizing something for tonight.

anyway, that's been my life recently. practice art (music or acting), exercise, office work (insert auditions here), & waitressing (or acting class or casting workshop). around all this i am always working on something, like a scene for my friend Devon Feldmeth's SOT directing class, and sides for Chad McCord's class. so the muscles are staying limber and working. this is good.

it's a lot, really. but it's cool. right now, at this stage, this rhythm is ok, it's balancing and i'm paying off bills. However, if this is my life in five years, come smack me and remind me that i've dreamed of film sets and telling stories for way too long to be here. it's not a rut yet, just a rhythm. i can honestly say i really have no idea where i'll be in five years. maybe teaching, maybe acting full time, maybe writing, or producing, maybe i'll join the circus... i doubt the last one, but who knows where i'll be. and that's ok too. i'll know when i'll know, then there i'll go.

peace & love,
sarah laine.